Animal Information
Gender: Male and Female
Species: Cats
Life Span: 200-568 years
Abilities: Extreme laziness, watching tv, eating food, sleeping for 24 hours solid
Kingdom: Hell
Common Names: Pussy, Garfield, Fat, Puss, Little Puss, Meowth and Grumpy
Colors: Varies
Families: Lion, Tiger, Leopard, Jaguar and Zebra
 Cats (Felis Catus) are a race of animals that once lived on Hell. They are known for their fluffy cute faces. Despite their cuteness, cats are actually bad. I mean think about it. They are from hell. 

They are probably created by Satan to take over the world. Cats are extremely lazy hence, their life span is so fast. Their estimated hours of sleep is 24,000 hours.

Cats' hours of sleepEdit

  • Sunday - 50 hrs
  • Monday 29 hrs
  • Tuesday - 3 hrs
  • Wednesday - 78 hrs
  • Thursday - 10 hrs
  • Friday - 12 hrs
  • Saturday - 2 hrs

As you can see in the list, the cats sleep more than we humans do. It means that cats are 100% lazy.


Saber-toothed tiger

It was believed that Saber-toothed tigers are the ancestors of cats. They live sinced the Pleistocene era.

They are known to be the most fierce hunters. Saber-toothed tiger went extinct when food crisis began. 

All the mammoth went-extinct that's why they don't have anything to eat. That's the reason why saber-toothed tigers went extinct.


Lions be like ROAR! They be like Me Lion! Me king of forest and jungle. They be like What the hell does Makuna Matata mean?


Cquote1 I got the eye of the tiger. Cquote2
—''', Katy Perry bragging about her new contact lenses.


Zebras are animals that belongs on the feline family. And the picture is not an elephant. It's a zebra.


Why is the jaguar killed? Because he was spotted! Y U NO LAUGH?


Meowth is a Pokémon that belongs in a feline family. As you can see in the picture, a Meowth is angry and is flipping.

Domestic cats

Domestic cats are small cats and are commonly found in pet stores. They also live on streets or in your bathroom.

Cats are 'evil worshippers'Edit

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As you can see, everytime a cat cleans itself. It is worshipping Satan.

Definitely true. Just like what I said, cats are created by Satan. It means that cats are evil worshippers. There are lots of symbolism between cats and Satan. If you think cats are adorable and fluffy. And that you want to kiss them or give them lots of spaghetti hugs. Then you're probably f*****. 

How to Escape from a CatEdit

Here are simple and easy steps on how to escape a cat from it's evil face:

  • Distract a cat using a non-dangerous laser. Non-dangerous lasers are cheap and could be used to distract a cat from killing you.
  • Yarns are cat's best friends. Just throw a yarn then cat will be distracted from chasing you.
  • Dogs are man's best friend. Use a dog to sacrifice it to a cat so it will not chase you.